John Oliver Reminds America What We’re Missing Out On

Declaring our independence did have some drawbacks.

• As we Americans enjoy the Fourth of July, John Oliver from “Last Week Tonight” wants us to remember what this long weekend is all about — generally being rude and dismissive of the British. And while that has worked out pretty well for us as a country, it hasn’t come without its sacrifices.

  “I’d just like to take a quick moment to remind you of what you’re missing out on by celebrating your independence,” he says in a web exclusive, as the show goes on hiatus for the holiday.

  The first and most obvious thing is giving up the British accent. “These beautiful vowel sounds could have been yours. But instead, from sea to shining sea, you speak like you just burned your tongue on a hot apple pie.”

  Americans have also had to go without bowler hats, and meat pies, “which are a lot like British people themselves — a hardened outer layer gives the impression of composure, but under the surface, it’s just a hot fucking mess.”

  Most importantly, we’ve had to abandon the classic British pessimism that gives John Oliver his endless sarcasm.

  “Americans are optimistic people who believe the sky is the limit, whereas in Britain, we are painfully aware of our limits. In fact, just look at the British sky itself. Even the sun is incapable of asserting itself there.”

  All things considered, America got a pretty good deal out of the whole thing.

Fourth of July

Independence Day (United States)

Independence Day of the United States, also referred to as the Fourth of July or July Fourth in the U.S., is a federal holiday commemorating the adoption of the Declaration of Independence on July 4, 1776, by the Continental Congress declaring that the thirteen American colonies regarded themselves as a new nation, the United States of America, and no longer part of the British Empire.^[1] Independence Day is commonly associated with fireworks, parades, barbecues,carnivals, fairs, picnics, concerts, baseball games, family reunions, and political speeches and ceremonies, in addition to various other public and private events celebrating the history, government, and traditions of the United States. Independence Day is the National Day of the United States.

 

Displays of fireworks, such as these over theWashington Monument in 1986, take place across the United States on Independence Day.

Observance

• In 1777, thirteen gunshots were fired in salute, once at morning and once again as evening fell, on July 4 in Bristol, Rhode Island. Philadelphia celebrated the first anniversary in a manner a modern American would find quite familiar: an official dinner for the Continental Congress, toasts, 13-gun salutes, speeches, prayers, music, parades, troop reviews, and fireworks. Ships were decked with red, white, and blue bunting.^[14]
• In 1778, from his headquarters at Ross Hall, near New Brunswick, New Jersey, General George Washington marked July 4 with a double ration of rum for his soldiers and an artillery salute (feu de joie). Across the Atlantic Ocean, ambassadors John Adams and Benjamin Franklin held a dinner for their fellow Americans in Paris, France.^[15]

American children of many ethnic backgrounds celebrate noisily in 1902 Puck cartoon

• In 1779, July 4 fell on a Sunday. The holiday was celebrated on Monday, July 5.^[15]
• In 1781, the Massachusetts General Court became the first state legislature to recognize July 4 as a state celebration.^[15]
• In 1783, Moravians in Salem, North Carolina, held a celebration of July 4 with a challenging music program assembled by Johann Friedrich Peter. This work was titled "The Psalm of Joy." This is recognized as the first recorded celebration and is still celebrated there today.^[16]
• In 1791, the first recorded use of the name "Independence Day" occurred.^{[citation needed]}
• In 1870, the U.S. Congress made Independence Day an unpaid holiday for federal employees.^[17]
• In 1938, Congress changed Independence Day to a paid federal holiday.^[18]

Watch Justin Bieber Fall Yet Again

He's the Jennifer Lawrence of musical performance

• A concert in Jacksonville, Florida turned hilarious when Justin Bieber fell while performing on-stage.

  The singer was dancing on a wet stage when he lost his balance and fell. Of course, he didn't let that get him down. Jumping back up, Bieber stormed down the stage saying, "Life's about taking falls, and life's about getting back up!"
• Life must be a cruel mistress because this is his third fall while performing. It's also his second time fallingduring the performing this specific song, and while the stage was wet.

  Biebs, don't you know? The only man who can perform on a wet stage is Prince.